We Go Together

Do you know that feeling like you are snorkeling, and water is coming in to your mouth/nose? But you are not even under or near water!? Or the feeling like you are choking, but there is nothing in your mouth/throat? Or the awareness you are being totally schizophrenic about being warm or cold - at the same time and being completely over the top confused and annoyed by it?

Enter a state of feverish-ness.

Hell no. But yes.

I woke up a couple of days ago feeling like somebody climbed in to my window while I was asleep, hit me on the head with a MChammer, stuffed a stingling nettle down my throat and made me freeze and sweat simultaneously.

Oh joy.

Anyway, dying a little is not uncommon when you practice Bikram yoga. (Every class is like dying, and being reborn again. Which rocks my socks off!). So I was and am not going to let this stop me from getting in to the Hot Room.

(Honestly, once I’m in there, I simply have zero resistance anyway. My head goes like : ‘What the F am I doing here, I won’t even make it through Pranayama!’, but before I can think again I’m in final Savasana - glad that I, yet again, put my ‘mind over the matter’.

Now or neverness of life

This morning and afternoon were spent snoozing, working on the amazingrockballsawesomecoolinspiringwickedcrazyjabbadabbadoo-project Petra and I have officially kicked of (by claiming a domain, yay!), and trying to get water in to my body - passed my achy-breaky throat. (I heart projects! I heart WordPress! I heart getting my nerd-face on! I heart Petra! I heart friends that are soulmates!).

Around half past five I decided it was ‘now or never, quickly grabbed my bag and walked to yoga. I arrived a wee bit late - the room was quite full - picked a spot on the far right, on the front row, put my towel on and around my mat, did some funky stretches and waited for the teacher to arrive.

I looked around, curious if the familiar faces were there. Smiled at some die-hards, looked at the guy behind me with his killer tattoos. Damn, I was not feeling too good. Why did I pick this spot, again, did I really want to annoy others with me getting dizzy and coughing and sneezing and stuff?

Get your act together BRAIN

I should know myself a little bit better than this, by now. I keep on saying this, even though I have zero negative experiences that allow me to think or feel this way. Truth is… whatever my mind thinks or says, my body does whatever the teacher says anyway. Even if I tell myself it is okay to skip the first or second set, I always try and before I know we move on to the next posture and it was not that bad at all. Quite good actually. No expectations and all. Works like a charm.

So hippety-hop, we move through class schweating and breathing and arms up and elbows locked and kicking calf muscles above heads and sucking in stomachs and stretching heads to toes (my fav.fav.fav. pose as of late, my ‘bun’ touched my toes!) and twisting our spine in all possible directions.

Don’t you dare compare or stare

Some times I look at Mr.Tattoo behind me. Did I see him before? I’m not quite sure. He’s not doing too bad. (I wish I could say some things to him that would help him, here and there. This teacher-mind can not be sssh-ed for too long anymore, can it?) He’s got a great triangle… I must not start a competition here. Back to my reflection in the mirror. Focus. Stay with the dialogue. Follow it, word by word. Forget about the outside world. And stop telling yourself off when something is not going ‘perfect’. This is yoga, not gymnastics.

After the last breathing exercise, I turn around to get in to Savasana, when Mr.Tattoo looks in to my eyes and says (something like): great class! I nod, say ‘thank you’ and l lie down. I smile and think about what he just said. Did I need someone else to tell me that class went well? That even though I felt like sh*t, I never stopped giving all, never lost my focus? Silly Saar!

I do some final stretches, pick up my towel and water bottle, walk towards the little fountain (with the coldest water available in the entire building - for sure!) and start chatting to my teacher. Mr.Tattoo comes out of the classroom and asks teacher if he can ask him some questions.

I ask him if he is new here, and if I’ve seen him before? He says he’s not new, he has seen me before - because I always undo my hair before Rabbit Pose. (True that, that pose hurts with your hair up!).

Then, all of a sudden, he says: it was nice practicing behind you, you were a great role model.

Teacher just stands there, nodding. Ehm. Hmm. Ok.

Well, I’d better leave them to their private conversation now, right? ‘See you’s later!’.

Role model? Moi? Ha (tsjoe!!)